Yesterday I went to the Flyfishing Federation’s “Opener” in Madison and listened to a talk by one one of the best writers and flyfishers in America, Dave Hughes. Surprisingly, he began his presentation by recommending one of my favorite books, Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. His point was that the more you fish or know about anything, the more you can trust your instantaneous intuition or judgment about it — where the trout are, whether you can believe what someone just said, or who this person standing before you really is. That led me to thinking about thinking. Here’s what I think…..

I have experienced the truth that an immediate thought about someone or something, an intuition or immediate feeling, almost without thinking, is most often true. You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but if along with the cover you sense the condition of the book, hear an opening line, notice the poor spelling, the lack of punctuation, and the sense that you are being drained while merely holding this book, trust your judgment.

I’ve also noticed that in most discussions, especially those that may be heated or confrontational, men are at a disadvantage. Women process feelings more quickly, and often men (or at least I as a man) don’t think of what I really meant to say until the next day. It doesn’t really matter because nearly all arguments are useless. Even if you win, the couple loses. Jackson Browne said it in “Tender is the Night,” when he sang, “I win; you win; we lose.” I believe I have been saved from many difficult apologies by NOT being able to say something hurtful or defensive until I think of it the next day when there is no opportunity to say it. In any disagreement that is not about safety or probable disaster, given a choice between being right and being kind, always choose being kind. All relationships are reciprocal, and no one really wins unless both win.

I also know that much of our thinking is comparative. Making comparisons is a useful tool that allows us to get through an ordinary day. It’s important to be able to compare green lights, yellow lights and red lights. That is especially true when she says “Well….okay.” Is that really a green light or a yellow? However, most comparisions are not that helpful. As I’ve written before, who is the better artist, Van Gogh or Matisse, Beethoven or Mozart? Why am I not as lucky/rich/handsome/popular as….. Such comparisions really are odious. I need to be careful of such dangerous thinking.

The thinking I find most intriguing is “deep well” thinking. This most often is creative thinking. Like a deep well, getting anything out of our superconscious takes time, and the deeper the well, the longer it takes to get that bucket of cold, clear water up to the surface. I read that Mark Twain worked for quite a while on his masterpiece Huckleberry Finn, the book some have called the Great American Novel. I agree that it is not a young adult book, more the coming-of-age book for an entire culture. Halfway through his manuscript, Twain had Huck and the slave Jim a long ways down river, with no way to get them back to Hannibal or end his story. He put his manuscript in the back of his roll top desk. Two years later, Livvy insisted he clean out his firetrap of an office, including his half-smoked cigars. He found the manuscript, read the last few chapters, and immediately knew how to write the rest of the story. He said he finished it in less that seven weeks. We’ve all had “aha!” moments while not consciously working on a problem. The solutions come in the shower, on a walk, while shaving, and sometimes while talking to someone. My advice is: trust what comes out of your well. Most often it will be helpful. We are wondrous creatures. The miracle continues. Drink deeply from the well; the water is cold, pure, and soul refreshing.